Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
I have the same situation with my old Camry. I bought it brand new in 1992. My husband wants me to junk it. I want to put in a new engine and whatever else and give it to my son. I know my car I’ve already rebuilt the engine once and added new things to it. It’s paid for. I know the amount of the insurance, the taxes, and the mileage on it. If they’d just put the oil in the car it would still be running. If I buy a new or a used car, I will have to start all over again with unknown problems and spend more money. For me it is cheaper for me to keep what I got.
Technology is changing all the time. There will always be something new that will attract your attention and curiosity. It is the same way when you are married. You promise to stay together for the rest of your life before God and witnesses, but for a lot of people that means until someone better comes along. You know the saying “Out with the old and in with the new.”
I am sure both my husband and I have felt that way a few times in our marriage after so many years together, but we talk about how we are feeling and we remember what we mean to each other. The truth is it is a trick of the enemy. He knows that we are visual and emotional creatures. He knows our flesh is weak and responds to the lust of the eyes. He will put things before us and tell us that he or she doesn’t look as nice or as fine as they use to. He or she doesn’t earn as much money or want the same things as I do. He or she doesn’t understand me or get me. You and I know that “THE DEVIL IS A LIAR AND DECEIVER.” Most of the time this is just an exuse to leave.
It seems that people aren’t satisfied with what they have. It’s as if they want to upgrade to a better model. I call this the “New Car Smell.” Just like the new cell phones with the texting, internet, videos, etc we want the new car with the shiny paint, leather interior, the sparkling rims, and the extra bells and whistles. Never mind that you have a perfectly good telephone that works and does what it is suppose to do, “it rings, you can talk in it and it’s there just in case of an emergency” What you have may be an older model with a few scratches and dents. It may need a new battery, an oil change, or a tune up, but it is yours, it’s paid for, and you know everything about it. It has been loyal to you for years, in sickness and in health.
We as married people need to remember everything that glitters aint gold, under the green grass there are worms. You can’t buy real loyalty and trust. We all need to make improvements but it is a team effort. Looks change, circumstances change, feelings change, but true love and commitment shouldn’t. Work with what you have. Have fun, enjoy each other, laugh, do things you’ve never done before, have each other’s backs. We all want and need to make changes, change doesn’t always mean upgrade or trade in. This doesn’t make you happy nor does it always satisfy. God wants us to renew our minds, change our hearts and minds to the mind of Christ. Sometimes you need to take a second look at what you already have and make improvements.
Marriage can get complacent and boring at times. You will feel alone and unsatisfied with how things are going. But your commitment is not only with your spouse, but with God. This is who you made your vows to. So my recommendation is to recharge your battery and buy a can of air freshener. Restore and rebuild. Make changes for the better together.
It’s like I tell my son, who doesn’t have a job or money, “you don’t need a new cell phone with all the fancy stuff and you don’t need a new car that will cost more than you can’t afford; they too will eventually be obsolete. Learn to appreciate what you have. Over the years I have come to learn that the old sayings are true. One man’s junk is another man’s treasure, and you don’t miss your water until your well runs dry. So people “Work with what you’re working with!”
©Copyright 1/10
Mrs. Ella D. Fleming
